he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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