super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
