people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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