I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
