i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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