Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's rum buckets o'clock
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
