somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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