Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
foreskin is a definite game changer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
