I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
