I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
