I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I bet he comes in French.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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