you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
