Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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