i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
