I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
