no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
