Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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