rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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