I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
