Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
not ubering you a puppy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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