thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
