Soap is not a condiment
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
