Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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