:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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