I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You took a bar mat shot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
