It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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