Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
