i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
