We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
