I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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