I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We don't watch enough power rangers
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
