i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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