my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
