You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
