i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
