I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize