she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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