Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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