We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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