sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
