Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
