who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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