I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
