You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
