..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
