There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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