It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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