his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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