the condom got lost in my hair
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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