im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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