shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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