Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
