sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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