i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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