Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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