This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
