I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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