I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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